I'd like to say I stopped reading this story after the opening clause ("A day after three Connecticut asset managers claimed the largest Powerball jackpot in the state's history..."), but that would be a lie. The truth is, it's a charming little tale of riches-to-even-more-riches. And they've given $1 million of their $100 million to charity!

I'll highlight one of my favorite passages and let the jokes tell themselves:

"Everybody is extremely excited -- these numbers are huge," said the trio's attorney, Jason Kurland. "This is going to benefit many people."